A few years ago some of the women in our families, my relatives and Larry’s, had an informal contest to see whose husband had gone to the greatest lengths to save money. Anyone who heard about the contest, could submit an entry.
In the early days I had no doubt that my own husband would win by a mile. My only difficulty would be deciding which illustration to submit. Would I go with the time, on our drive to Atlanta, I went inside Cracker Barrel to pick up my order and came out to find him sitting on one of their rocking chairs eating his lunch from home? Or maybe all the times we’ve driven twenty or thirty miles out of the way to avoid paying a toll?
He and my brother-in-law, S., have fanny packs held together by about a hundred staples. My sister had already submitted that as an entry, so I couldn’t use it. If she had submitted to the group, the thirty rolls of film he wouldn’t have developed, then I could have. (Glad to say technology has taken care of that dilemma, S.)
In the end I went with my Tupperware container of batteries. The supply never seemed to go down, but there were fewer and fewer in the packaging they came in. Hmmm. I discovered that when my husband replaced batteries, on the off chance that one or two were still good, he was putting all the old batteries back in the bowl. This came to a head when I was putting batteries in a grandkid’s toy at Christmas. When I got to about the fourth battery, finding each dead as a door nail, his mom said, “You know, Lane, if you keep those in the refrigerator they’ll last longer.” I knew why they were dead! If it hadn’t been for my reputation as Ms. Christmas, I would have gone through the roof!
Still, I didn’t win! No, the invisible trophy – so far – is held by a man I’ve never met. I thought some of his money-saving antics were sweet. His wife is in outside sales. To keep her from going buying cold drinks while she’s out, he filled an ice chest with freezer packs and a bottles of soft drinks. Adorable, right? Then he went too far. One day they were having words. She called him cheap and started crying. HE REACHED INTO A TRASH CAN AND GOT OUT A USED TISSUE AND HANDED IT TO HER!
Ladies and gentlemen, I push myself away from the table. He had won!! There was no way I could top that. Maybe you can. Post any example you have below. Good luck!