I have many author friends and if I wanted to spout names, everyone would recognize them. I am in awe of them and their talent. Let me make this clear, I am not jealous of their success, I am very happy for them. But in that I always wonder, do I have it in me to write a great book that will get national recognition like my friends?
And then there are all the conversations the authors have about marketing the right way and the critiques about editing and writing and selling books on all the social media groups. Reading those I became more intimidated. Should I change the way I am doing things? Should I look for a publishing company or more importantly should I look for an agent.
I have a great publishing company for my Cozies, Cozy Cat Press. For my more serious books I self published and I was satisfied with that until I read the reviews in newspapers and what the big honchos at the big companies say about that. More self-doubt set in.
I started second guessing every plot and every word on my page in the new books I am writing. I was frozen. Somewhere in my frozen state something began to thaw my brain and I saw the light. I don’t care if I am famous. I have had good success with my books and my book sales. I was happy with that until I mired myself in doubt because of all the things thrown at me.
I am old, well almost. I don’t care if I am famous. I don’t want to do the traveling for my books and appearances that many of my friends do, being gone from home for weeks at a time. I want to spend time with my grandchildren and kids. I want to spend time with my friends and yes, I want to write. I also need to make somewhat of a living from writing. I need to pay my bills but I also need to live my life in the way I wasn’t able when I was working a 40 hour or more week job. I like being my own boss, although apparently, lately I have been a terrible boss putting over the top expectations on myself.
I will celebrate with my friends success and I will be content with what is now in my career. I will keep writing whatever my silly brain creates. My goal is to make someone smile, make someone laugh and make someone’s day better because they read my books. And I won’t let my brain trick me again into believing I want more.
If you want, buy my books, celebrate life and silliness and remember when you pick up a book by an author you haven’t heard about before –just because you haven’t heard their name doesn’t mean they shouldn’t have their fame. Like the movie stars of the past such as Marilyn Monroe or Lana Turner, who were discovered in out-of-the-way places by producers which rocketed them to fame, the author just hasn’t been discovered yet. Let these books and authors be discovered by you.